Chaos and Charm

Category: #unhinged but evolving

  • The Weaponization of the Chancleta – The Puerto Rican Parenting Series

    The Weaponization of the Chancleta – The Puerto Rican Parenting Series

    Let’s be real — the chancleta wasn’t just footwear.It was a disciplinary device, a GPS-guided missile, a warning shot, and a family tradition all in one. Our mothers didn’t need threats — they had range.She could be in the kitchen, I could be halfway down the block, and somehow…it still connected.That thing curved through time…

  • Reparenting the Chaos

    Reparenting the Chaos

    Sometimes I think my inner child and I are in a toxic relationship.She wants attention at the worst possible times — like right before a deadline or when I’m trying to sleep.She’s loud, dramatic, and clearly allergic to logic.And honestly? Same. But lately, I’ve been trying to reparent her.To give her what she needed back…

  • Main Character in a Side Quest Era

    Main Character in a Side Quest Era

    This was supposed to be my healing era.My not-always-in-a-messy-bun, aligned-chakras, journaling-by-candlelight era. Instead, it’s giving: side quest energy.Nothing’s falling apart, but nothing’s exactly coming together either.Like I’m walking through life with a GPS that keeps politely malfunctioning.Or just making me take the scenic route that’s miles off. Every day feels like a mix of errands,…

  • Meanwhile, My Brain Said No

    Meanwhile, My Brain Said No

    I have this bad habit of saying, “Yeah, sure!” when every cell in my body is screaming, “Absolutely not!”My face is already contorting, trying not to “say” what my mouth wants it to. Before I can stop myself, I’m nodding like a trained golden retriever.“Yeah, no worries!” I don’t know if it’s anxiety, people-pleasing, or…

  • Delulu Denise & the Phantom Refund Portal

    Delulu Denise & the Phantom Refund Portal

    It was a calm Tuesday.The inbox was quiet. The returns portal was sleeping peacefully.Not a refund in sight — just vibes, tracking numbers, and the faint hum of semi-sanity. And then, out of nowhere… she appeared. Delulu Denise.Materializing from the digital mist with a tale so wild, even our return system couldn’t compute it. According…

  • The Soft Girl Under the Spikes

    The Soft Girl Under the Spikes

    I wasn’t born with an attitude — I built one.One eye roll, one sarcastic comment, one “don’t mess with me” look at a time.Mixed with the single raised eyebrow, the smirk, and the built-in RBF. Call it self-preservation.Call it personality.Call it fear.Either way, it worked. Because somewhere between growing up too fast and being told…

  • Chaos & Charm: Born This Way (Unfortunately)

    Chaos & Charm: Born This Way (Unfortunately)

    The soundtrack of my childhood was Spanish music on repeat, people talking over each other, and at least a pot of rice on the stove at all times — ya know, in case of company. The pop-over? That used to be the norm. Now? We hide every time the RingCam goes off. Everyone was always…

  • I’m Not Arguing, I’m Just Passionately Explaining Why I’m Right

    I’m Not Arguing, I’m Just Passionately Explaining Why I’m Right

    I don’t argue. I just raise my voice creativelywhile presenting a very sound, emotionally charged PowerPoint presentationthat everyone refuses to appreciate. People might say I’m “defensive.”Like, “Cógelo con take it easy, nena.”No, sweetie. I’m just right — loudly.It’s not yelling if I’m correct. I try to stay calm, I really do.I start off all composed,…

  • I Said I’m Healing, Not Holy

    I Said I’m Healing, Not Holy

    Listen—I’m doing the work.I journal. I breathe. I even let things go.(Ok, not everything, but like… a few things.) But every now and then, someone decides to test me,and my higher self has to physically hold my lower self back like,“Girl. Not today. We’re trying to evolve.” Because healing doesn’t mean I turned into a…

  • Main Character Malfunction

    Main Character Malfunction

    Some mornings, I wake up like I’m in a movie.The light hits just right, the playlist knows whassup,and for five whole minutes I’m the calm, centered, soft-life version of myself.(whatever that is) Then life rolls up like, “Aww, look at you thinking you got it together.”Cue the spilled water, the dropped phone, the existential dread…

  • The Things I Don’t Say (Because Bail Money is Tight)

    The Things I Don’t Say (Because Bail Money is Tight)

    (aka: My Inner Voice Needs an NDA) There’s a whole monologue living rent-free in my head.Every time someone’s rude.Every time someone “just wants to play devil’s advocate.” Oh, I have soooo many things to say.But then I remember:Bail money is expensive, and my energy is not refundable. So instead, I let it stay up there—an…

  • The Karen Chronicles: Return of the Caps Lock

    The Karen Chronicles: Return of the Caps Lock

    (aka: Why Is Everyone Yelling?) It’s 9:02 a.m.My brain’s buffering.Meanwhile, the world’s mid-meltdown—voices flying from screens and sidewalksover problems they’ll forget by noon. So, I start my day. I open my inbox… and there she is. THE KAREN. Subject line: “URGENT!!!”Body: “HELLO???” No greeting. No order number. Just emotional damage in Arial Bold. Somewhere, a…

  • Fraudulent Fannie Strikes Again

    Fraudulent Fannie Strikes Again

    (aka: I Should’ve Gone to Law School) Just when you think you’ve seen it all… Guess who’s back?Back again.Fannie’s back — tell a friend. Because apparently, the chaos gods weren’t done testing me yet. This time it’s not “never received.”Oh no — this round is “didn’t like it, looks clunky, not my style, so I…

  • The Chargeback Chronicles

    The Chargeback Chronicles

    (aka: The Audacity Olympics) There’s a special kind of betrayal that only hits when a chargeback email lands in your inbox. You’re sipping your water, minding your business, living your semi-peaceful customer service life — and then bam:“A dispute has been filed for Order #14086.” The audacity.The unmitigated gall.The nerve of it all. Because 99.9%…

  • My Toxic Trait Is Thinking I Have Time

    My Toxic Trait Is Thinking I Have Time

    Every day starts the same way:me, confidently hitting snooze again and again like I’m on island time — except I’m not. I convince myself those extra nine minutes will somehow change the trajectory of my life.Spoiler: they do not. By the time I finally roll out of bed, I’ve entered the delusional optimism phase —…

  • A Completely Normal Meltdown Over Absolutely Nothing

    A Completely Normal Meltdown Over Absolutely Nothing

    It all started with a text.A perfectly harmless, everyday text —except my brain decided it wasn’t. It read:“Ok.” That was it.Just Ok.No exclamation point.No emoji.Just dry… like dry toast —and yes, said in the Greek accent from My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Immediately, I had questions: Why the attitude?What did I do?Is this where EVERYTHING…

  • Who’s Running This? (A Peek Behind the Curtain)

    Who’s Running This? (A Peek Behind the Curtain)

    People ask about the hat.The wide brim. The mystery. The “who does she think she is?” energy. Here’s the truth:It’s not a costume—it’s armor.It’s how I protect my peace when the world feels loud. It’s how I slip into main-character mode, even when I’m just running errands or standing in line for coffee.The hat reminds…

  • The Chaos Manifesto

    The Chaos Manifesto

    We are the beautifully undone.The too-extra, the not-enough, the ones who laugh too loud and feel everything twice. We find magic in messes and clarity in chaos.We cry, we curse, and we keep it pushing. We are proof that broken things still shine.And maybe—just maybe—the chaos was never meant to be fixed.It was meant to…