Chaos and Charm

(aka: I Should’ve Gone to Law School)

Just when you think you’ve seen it all…

Guess who’s back?
Back again.
Fannie’s back — tell a friend.

Because apparently, the chaos gods weren’t done testing me yet.

This time it’s not “never received.”
Oh no — this round is “didn’t like it, looks clunky, not my style, so I disputed it.”

Ma’am.
You wore it.
You posted a selfie in it.
You tagged us.
You left a glowing review.

The audacity is now available in full HD.

So here I am again, building a digital dissertation like Elle Woods
with Wi-Fi. Screenshots, timestamps, archived posts —
me whispering, “Your honor, Exhibit A: The Instagram Story.”

The chargeback reads like a work of fiction:
“Product not as described.”
Girl, you described it better than we did in your caption —
#Obsessed #SoInLove #NeverTakingItOff.

And yet somehow… here we are.

I picture her sitting there, sipping her iced latte,
hovering over the dispute button like,
“You know what? Let me see whose day I can mess with today.”

Me: Not today, Satan.

Meanwhile, I’m one evidence packet away from entering witness protection.
The glow from my computer screen has become my personality trait.

At this point, I’m not even mad — I’m impressed.
Fannie has range.
One week she’s missing her package,
the next she’s having buyer’s remorse with receipts.

So to you, Fannie —
may your Wi-Fi lag during every upload.
May your screenshots glitch mid-save,
and your chargeback ghosts you the way you ghosted responsibility.

Because I’m tired, mama.
Tired, but undefeated.
And still showing up in lip gloss and vengeance.✨